?

Log in

You Win, I lose [entries|friends|calendar]
Rain

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[Jan 17th @ 3pm ]
[ mood | crushed ]

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never strayed too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because you know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never strayed too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never strayed too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of you
Because of you

+ 2-up

Awww [Sep 17th @ 3am ]
[ mood | energetic ]

IntroducingCollapse )

+ 7-up

IT'S A GIRL!!!!!!!! [Sep 15th @ 1am ]
[ mood | bouncy ]

My sister had her baby like 10 minutes ago! I don't know the weight or anything yet but I will have pictures cause I might get to go see her tomorrow. Yay! Oh yeah, it's a girl and her name is Harmony. And my sister said I can call her Hermione because i'm a uber dork. :-D

+ 1-up

No More Pretty, Purple, Peaceful Butterfly [Sep 14th @ 4am ]
[ mood | blank ]

Have you ever just sat down and just stared at nothing? Or maybe you stared at everything?

In the last hour I have stared at my tv, my cats, my window, my wind chimes, my kyou-kun shrine. I've stared out my window into the neighbors yard, at said neighbors dog and cars. I've even stared at the green flashing light at my phone.

I've stared at the books on my book case, the words in my story, the food in my fridge, and the back of my eye lids. For the past 4 hours i've stared at everything in my room and still I can't fall asleep.

I've tried eating, never could I sleep on a empty stomach. Didn't work. I tried reading, which after a long while normally puts me to sleep. That didn't work either. I even tried listening to music with my t.v off. And low and behold i'm still awake.

My cats have no problem falling asleep. Uno falls asleep sometimes while walking. Jamal's asleep right now. And so is my dad.

I just yawned, good sign.

Maybe drinking that Ice Cap was a no no?

+ 4-up

So we meet again :-D [Sep 10th @ 8pm ]
[ mood | content ]

Ahhh. Yes. I still remember the password, lol.

Life's getting better and I guess that's all I really can say. I'm not angry anymore, still depressed, but i'll get over that.

Me and Jamal are good. Almost a year now. His birthday is soon and I still don't know what to get him. Ideas please??? I want to get him something nice and something he likes. But not a video game. I DON'T KNOW!

I ordered the first 26 episodes of Fruits Basket the other day. I hope it gets here soon. Oo0o0o0 I can't wait to see my Kyou-kun. ::dances::

I'm going to start acting again. I don't know why I stopped but i'm gonna start again.

Maybe i'll get a second job too. Like working nights or something. Naw. One job is enough for me. :-D I need to start saving my money of I ever wanna get out of my dads house. I should get a savings account and have like 10% of every check deposited in there. That way the money in my savings account will be there and I can put towards moving out.

I start school in the winter. Kinda scared. I mean its only English and once a week so it won't be to bad.

Eva doesn't work at Blockbuster anymore and that's sad, BUT she's teaching at Taylor Parks so I can always go up there and bother her! Haha!

Speaking of Blockbuster...

Works going good. I've realized that I don't hate it as much I say I do. I mean I could be working back at David's, for my mom, washing windows and doing crappy odds and ends, making only $5.15 an hour. :-P Yeah right. Pass.

My books coming along good too. I added another chapter in it yesterday. As soon as I finish typing it i'll put it in my writings journal so everyone can read it.

Aye! I should be going, I have to finish getting ready. My dad's taking me to the movies. So, I guess this is nite!

I'll update more I Promise.

+ 7-up

I'm angry.... I'm depressed.... [Aug 29th @ 11am ]
[ mood | depressed ]

I'm being me. I have no friends, cept Jamal, Crystal, and Adam. I haven't beeen working that much lately. I use to love going into work, now its mixed feelings. We haven't done inventory in like forever and we have one on wednesday, its gonna suck.

Everyone is getting married. My cousin, that's where my family is now, Missourri, to get ready for her wedding. They asked me to go back, I said no. They never once said my fucking cousin was fucking getting married. I would have taken time off work to go. They told me 1 day before they left. 1 fucking day. Well fuck them.

I've been so depressed lately. I don't know why. But I made myself sick yesterday. Very sick, me and jamal went as saw the brothers grimm, and sat there the entire time thinking, 'somebody needs to fucking die already'. 'please don't let there be a happy ending'. i'm depressed....

+ 1-up

Friends Only! [Jul 4th @ 2am ]
[ mood | drained ]

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

+

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]